Tuesday, August 30, 2011

So far, so good...

I've survived the first four days of my 39th year. It was a nice celebration of husband, friends, sushi, and shopping. I wake each day with a little trepidation knowing I'm one day closer to the BIG 4-0. Everyone says it's traumatic. I think not. No one can know what it's like to walk through each day wondering if the next will come.

I wonder about heaven and hell. I don't believe. I just wonder. I think people believe in those things because they are afraid to think about the nothingness that comes with death. I sometimes like to think that my sister is looking down upon her children and watching them grow. Guiding their decisions. But that's all just a fantasy.

Remember, Atreyu and the Nothingness? Isn't that what it was called? It was the unknown. It was the end. Destruction. There's no Atreyu or Sebastian now.

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