Have you heard about the guy that played Spartacus? He died yesterday! So tragic that he had cancer at such an early age! Yep. 39. Seems to be a pattern in my life lately.
Today is my 2 month wedding anniversay. Yep. Long time, I know. I'm actually very happy. I've married my best friend and soulmate. That word...soulmate. It sounded cheesy to me not so long ago, but now I know that what people say is true. There really is someone for everyone. Luckily, I found mine when I was 38 because I don't think I'd be so lucky now that I'm 39.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Life and What It's Worth
I've been thinking about what my life is worth today. I could never put a monetary value on my life. I know I have life insurance and I hope that it helps once I'm gone, but money seems so inconsequential when I think of time.
Do you ever sit in the doctor's office and wonder if he/she knows how much you're time is worth? I do. All the time. If I have to sit for more than 20 minutes, I leave. When looking for a doctor, the first question I ask is how long I will have to sit in the waiting room. If it's less than 20 minutes, I figure that doctor values my time. I think that's a courtesy that I deserve considering that my insurance company pays that doctor lots and lots of money.
But I've been thinking more about my time on earth. My time with my family. My time with my students. My time enjoying the sunrise. Sometimes I forget how valuable MY time is. I forget that I shouldn't be wasting my time being angry or irritated or sad. I should be happy. I should soak up every second that I'm alive. Every second that I take a healthy breath.
I think of people that can't do that. My cousin, Rhonda, who died in a car accident and didn't see her daughters graduate or go on their first date. My sister, Shannon, who won't be able to be there for her son's graduation for kindergarden or her daughter's first day of junior high.
I AM ALIVE and 39! My life is not worth anything that I can imagine. It's priceless and precious. Now...if I can just remember that tomorrow...
Do you ever sit in the doctor's office and wonder if he/she knows how much you're time is worth? I do. All the time. If I have to sit for more than 20 minutes, I leave. When looking for a doctor, the first question I ask is how long I will have to sit in the waiting room. If it's less than 20 minutes, I figure that doctor values my time. I think that's a courtesy that I deserve considering that my insurance company pays that doctor lots and lots of money.
But I've been thinking more about my time on earth. My time with my family. My time with my students. My time enjoying the sunrise. Sometimes I forget how valuable MY time is. I forget that I shouldn't be wasting my time being angry or irritated or sad. I should be happy. I should soak up every second that I'm alive. Every second that I take a healthy breath.
I think of people that can't do that. My cousin, Rhonda, who died in a car accident and didn't see her daughters graduate or go on their first date. My sister, Shannon, who won't be able to be there for her son's graduation for kindergarden or her daughter's first day of junior high.
I AM ALIVE and 39! My life is not worth anything that I can imagine. It's priceless and precious. Now...if I can just remember that tomorrow...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
So far, so good...
I've survived the first four days of my 39th year. It was a nice celebration of husband, friends, sushi, and shopping. I wake each day with a little trepidation knowing I'm one day closer to the BIG 4-0. Everyone says it's traumatic. I think not. No one can know what it's like to walk through each day wondering if the next will come.
I wonder about heaven and hell. I don't believe. I just wonder. I think people believe in those things because they are afraid to think about the nothingness that comes with death. I sometimes like to think that my sister is looking down upon her children and watching them grow. Guiding their decisions. But that's all just a fantasy.
Remember, Atreyu and the Nothingness? Isn't that what it was called? It was the unknown. It was the end. Destruction. There's no Atreyu or Sebastian now.
I wonder about heaven and hell. I don't believe. I just wonder. I think people believe in those things because they are afraid to think about the nothingness that comes with death. I sometimes like to think that my sister is looking down upon her children and watching them grow. Guiding their decisions. But that's all just a fantasy.
Remember, Atreyu and the Nothingness? Isn't that what it was called? It was the unknown. It was the end. Destruction. There's no Atreyu or Sebastian now.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Today is the first day of the rest of my life...I hope.
Today is my 39th birthday. It's been a rather pleasant day so far, kind of. I got a card from a colleague. Another made me some gluten-free chocolate cookies. She can't have wheat, so to be included in our little celebrations she usually gets stuck making something sweet. We all eat it. We are getting used to the differences.
My new, wonderful husband sent me flowers and balloons! What a sweet, compassionate man. The entire weekend is going to be about us. I'm looking forward to it. But there's been something in the back of my mind for months now...
My stepsister died on Memorial Day. She was 39. She suffocated in a bean bag in her daughter's room. It was a result of recently diagnosed sleep apnea and one too many beverages.
The point is...now I'm 39.
My new, wonderful husband sent me flowers and balloons! What a sweet, compassionate man. The entire weekend is going to be about us. I'm looking forward to it. But there's been something in the back of my mind for months now...
My stepsister died on Memorial Day. She was 39. She suffocated in a bean bag in her daughter's room. It was a result of recently diagnosed sleep apnea and one too many beverages.
The point is...now I'm 39.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)